Voice of Life (The Spoken Mage Book 4) Read online

“The general did say he was highly respected,” I said. “Perhaps he was too important to be left behind.”

  “Or perhaps they don’t even know about it?” said Coralie. “It’s not like any of their healers can sense his energy the way you can. Maybe he hasn’t shown any symptoms that would warrant a diagnosis composition?”

  “Has Beatrice returned from the front?” I asked. “Maybe I should see if she would consider taking me on a tour of some of Corrin’s healing clinics? I could see whether anyone else feels the same way.”

  “Perhaps Acacia would take you around?” Saffron suggested.

  “Maybe,” I said. “I could ask her next time I see her, although I’ll have to think of a good excuse for wanting to go.”

  We were still discussing it over breakfast the next morning, the day before classes commenced.

  “You’ve been studying healing for three years now,” said Finnian. “I think it would be quite natural for you to ask for a tour of some healing facilities while you consider which discipline you want to join after conscription.”

  “I imagine they’ll all be falling over themselves to have the Spoken Mage choose them,” said Saffron.

  I shook my head but didn’t actually raise any doubt aloud. She might even be right. I had come a long way from first year when the discussion among the discipline heads was whether or not they should execute me.

  Two newcomers caught my eye as they strode through the doors of the dining hall. Natalya and Calix made a striking pair as they paused to survey the room as if they owned it. Apparently they had finally returned from the family estate.

  We had finally worked our way up to the row of fourth year tables against the wall closest to the kitchen, and their eyes latched on to where we sat at the end of the row. Natalya threw Calix a look I couldn’t read, and he shrugged in reply before they both moved in our direction.

  I turned back to my friends. We sat at the top of the row while Weston and Lavinia—the twins’ Stantorn friends—had claimed the bottom table when they arrived several days ago. Naturally we had chosen to sit as far away as possible from each other.

  “I actually would like to see—” I started to say to Finnian, but my words sputtered to a halt when Natalya and Calix pulled out chairs and joined us.

  “Morning,” Calix said, by way of general greeting, before helping himself to food from the shared platters in the center of the table. Natalya silently followed his lead. My friends exchanged confused looks, but no one questioned them.

  Lavinia and Weston, at the other end of the row of tables, looked our way with displeased expressions. I looked back at Calix who was munching away with unconcern while Natalya picked at her food. All over the hall, younger trainees glanced our way, leaning their heads together to whisper as they did so.

  I grasped my fork, only to put it down again without taking a bite.

  “Uh…so what exactly is going on?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?” asked Calix. “You’re our sister now, and family sticks together.”

  “Really?” I asked, focusing my attention on Natalya.

  “Family sticks together.” She grimaced slightly, looking like the words hurt her to say.

  “Oh. Well, thanks. I guess.”

  Everyone ate a few bites in uncomfortable silence. Araminta paused behind Calix and looked around our table in confusion. I shrugged at her apologetically. Natalya and Calix had taken the last two seats—hers and the one that Clarence used to occupy. Its glaring emptiness had hurt at every previous meal, but I preferred his memory to my new table mates.

  After a moment, Araminta took a seat alone at the next table along. I glanced across at Coralie and Saffron, but before I could suggest my other friends join her, a tall, elegant figure strode into the room.

  Dariela didn’t break stride at the sight of our new seating arrangements, although her face tightened. Passing us, she sat across from Araminta, and I smiled. I had almost forgotten how we had left things last year. Dariela might not be one of my group of friends, but by the end of third year we had developed an individual friendship. She had even sided with me openly over her previous mageborn companions.

  I turned back to the twins. “This is just for today, right? A show of solidarity and all that, and then we can go back to our regular lives?”

  “I certainly hope so,” Natalya muttered, almost too quietly for me to hear.

  “If you prefer it that way.” Calix shrugged. “Makes no difference to us where we sit.”

  Natalya gave him a scathing look, but he ignored her.

  “Yes, I most definitely prefer it that way,” I said.

  Calix shrugged, and Natalya looked relieved.

  “And you can tell your father that if he asks,” I added.

  “Our father,” Calix corrected me. I rolled my eyes and didn’t respond.

  A moment later my heart seized. The last remaining fourth year had arrived. Part of me had been tense and on edge all week, constantly waiting for Lucas to appear through a doorway or around a corner. But still his appearance caught me by surprise.

  He took in our unusual positions in a single sweeping glance, his eyes lingering on me for the barest second before he moved on to take a seat beside Dariela. She nodded in greeting but didn’t look at him, continuing her conversation with Araminta who seemed utterly bemused at the direction the meal had taken.

  Lucas looked sideways at me, glancing away quickly when our eyes met. I surveyed the room. Not a Sekali, or even an instructor, in sight. I hoped whatever strictures had kept Lucas from speaking freely to me at the soiree weren’t going to apply at the Academy. Even if nothing else, I needed the chance to have a proper conversation with him.

  He ate quickly, however, and left the room without a backward glance. Lavinia followed not long after, pausing by our table. Natalya stood and left the room with her, the Stantorn girl throwing me a poisonous look as they exited, as if she blamed me for attempting to steal her friend. Calix also finished his meal and bid me farewell, nodding at Finnian as well before wandering over to speak to Weston.

  With his departure, conversation returned to my table, and my friends began to discuss the rumors that a grand gala was to be hosted at the Academy at the start of spring to celebrate five hundred years since the completion of the building. I left them to it, crossing over to greet Araminta and Dariela.

  “Sorry about that,” I said to Araminta. “We didn’t invite them to join us, or anything.”

  She giggled. “No, I can imagine not! And I suspect I had better company for the meal.” She smiled at Dariela before standing. “Excuse me, but I need to ask Saffron something.”

  I turned to Dariela who had stood at the same time as Araminta.

  “Welcome back. I didn’t know you’d arrived.”

  “Last night.” Her voice sounded stiff, and she didn’t meet my eyes.

  “Strange to be back for our last year, isn’t it?” I said. “I hope your travel went well.” Perhaps she was tired after her journey.

  “Perfectly well. I’ll see you in class.” She nodded at me once, and then strode from the room.

  I watched her go, my mouth hanging slightly open. What had happened to our budding friendship? When I felt someone at my side, I turned.

  “Well that was weird,” I said to Coralie.

  “Which part?” she asked, shaking her head.

  Finnian slipped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on the top of her head. “I’m starting to get the feeling this is going to be another odd year.”

  I nodded, my eyes still on the door of the dining hall. “At least Lavinia and Weston still seem to hate me. So something at least is normal.”

  Finnian chuckled. “How utterly reassuring. And I’m sure you needn’t worry—they’re Stantorns which means they’re obdurate down to their bones. I imagine they’ll go on hating you forever. I’ll be sure to remind you of it every time you get disheartened.”

  I rolled my eyes at him and trailed behind
the others as we left the room. Lucas and Dariela appeared to be avoiding me, while Calix and Natalya sought me out. Everything had turned upside down since the last time our year was together, and I didn’t like it one bit. Clarence’s absence was change enough.

  The bright sunshine paired with a cool breeze had convinced my friends to spend the morning in the Academy gardens. We lay on the soft grass and reminisced. Somehow they ended up trying to outdo each other by recalling our most disastrous or embarrassing classes. Of course most of them featured me. I had used more of Acacia’s healing compositions than the rest of my year combined.

  “Ugh,” I said at last, waving my hand lazily in an attempt to make them stop. “Please don’t remind me.”

  “We’re only doing it for your sake,” Finnian assured me gravely. “We don’t want you to get a big head now that you’re both hope and hero.”

  I gave a muffled groan and covered my eyes. “It’s going to be an awful year, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t think so,” said Coralie quietly, and I groaned again, this time in an exaggerated and comical way.

  “Saffron, tell me if it’s safe to open my eyes. I don’t know how much lovey dovey I can take.”

  Saffron laughed. “You’re safe.”

  I sat up and saw that Finnian now lay with his head in Coralie’s lap while she ran her fingers through his hair. I turned outraged eyes on Saffron who giggled.

  “Traitor!” I said.

  “Consider it exposure therapy—I’m pretty sure we’re going to have to get used to them.”

  I groaned again and flopped back down. In truth, my mixed emotions didn’t know how to feel about Coralie and Finnian. On the one hand, I got a happy thrill of my own whenever I saw the joy on their faces, and I was truly glad the Battle of Abneris had convinced my friend to give Finnian a chance despite her fears over his family’s reaction. But if I was honest, I also couldn’t see them so happy together without a pang. My own relationship didn’t appear to be heading for such an ending.

  Not unless I could somehow do the impossible.

  Chapter 3

  I chose to spend the afternoon in my suite, preparing myself mentally for the next day. The thought of classes sat uncomfortably, and I struggled to imagine what they would be like. Not because I anticipated any great change in our instruction. We had already moved to fourth year level strategy bouts in the arena, and I had been doing compositions beyond fourth year level for some time.

  No, the change was in me. I had a new power, one I had barely begun to grapple with, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I certainly couldn’t imagine revealing it to Redmond—my Stantorn composition instructor—and asking for his help in refining it. It was almost equally difficult to picture such a conversation with Thornton, my combat instructor, despite the fact he and I were now officially related in some distant way.

  The door to my sitting room opened, jerking me out of my thoughts. I hadn’t heard a knock, but as soon as I saw who it was, my alarm fell away. Within three strides Lucas had the door closed behind him and me in his arms.

  My tears poured out, springing from nowhere, and I buried my face in his chest. His arms tightened, and for a long moment we just held each other. When I finally looked up at him, I only managed to catch the green fire of his eyes for the briefest second before he pressed his lips down over mine.

  But they had barely made contact when he pulled himself back, pushing me abruptly away and taking a step back. He ran a hand through his hair and drew a ragged breath.

  “I’m sorry. I promised I would fight for us, and now here I am almost betrothed to someone else. I have no right to kiss you.”

  I took a step toward him, but he took another one back, holding out a hand to ward me off.

  “Don’t tempt me,” he said, his voice still rough.

  I took a trembling breath and put the small sofa between us, resting my shaking hands on its back.

  “I understand,” I said. “I understand why you have to…Why we can’t…” I couldn’t quite bring myself to say the words.

  “I thought the summer would be long enough to find a way out. To convince my family…” He held up his hands and then let them fall in a defeated gesture. “I don’t know what I thought. I guess I just hoped. When we arrived back and I discovered their summons, I was sure someone had poisoned them against you just as I feared. But I thought if I obeyed their summons and hurried back to the palace, I could find a way to change their minds. I didn’t expect the alliance offer.”

  “And what choice do you have?” I asked softly. “We can’t turn our backs on all of Ardann just so we can be together.”

  “I would,” he whispered, and the burning look he gave me made my knees tremble.

  But I locked them in place and met his gaze. “Would you? Really?”

  He sank into a chair, his legs sprawled before him and his head in one hand.

  “No,” he said. “Of course, I can’t. As much as I wish I could.”

  “I wouldn’t love you the way I do if you could turn your back on your kingdom like that,” I said, coming around the back of the sofa and curling onto it, my legs tucked beneath me. “And I daresay you wouldn’t love me if you thought I could make that choice.”

  He looked up quickly at that, shaking his head. “No, I know you would never choose me over the rest of the kingdom. You’re made of stronger stuff, and you’ve never been afraid of sacrifice.”

  My lip trembled and another tear rolled down my cheek, but I wiped it away.

  “Well, this is our reality then,” I said. “And we have to learn how to live with each other for the year.”

  He winced. “Yes, about that. I’m sorry I just barged in here, but I didn’t want anyone to see me lingering in the corridor.”

  An angry flush burned through me. So we were to be kept apart even here.

  “The delegation have asked an uncomfortable number of questions about you, and my parents have been at great pains to assure them that there will be no hindrance to the betrothal. They’re too well-informed about us, and Mother and Father seem to think that if we spend too much time together here, or show any preference for each other, word will somehow get back to them. I’ve been strictly forbidden from, well, anything like this.” He gestured back and forth between us and then around the room.

  “So, normal year mates, nothing more,” I whispered, and he nodded reluctantly.

  “It could be worse,” I said. “They could have forbidden us to speak at all.”

  He stared at me, his eyes roaming around my face, and for a moment silence fell between us.

  “It’s strange to think of you as a Devoras,” he murmured at last.

  I shook my head. “I keep forgetting myself. I certainly don’t feel like one.” I swallowed, and my voice dropped. “I did it for us, you know.”

  He groaned softly. “I thought as much as soon as I heard. It would have cleared up everything if it wasn’t for this blasted alliance.” He jumped to his feet and strode over to the window.

  “If only we weren’t stuck in this war,” I said.

  “Yes, this cursed war.” He pounded his fist on the windowsill.

  “Without the war, we wouldn’t need the alliance.” I sighed.

  “I’m sure my parents would still wish for it,” Lucas said. “But if it wasn’t for the war, I would defy them and refuse. But as it stands…”

  “I heard we still have time,” I whispered. “That the details of the betrothal and treaty are to be worked out by the end of the year. That means we still have time to find another way. There is still hope.”

  Lucas jerked at my words, swinging around and striding quickly over to kneel on one knee before me. He took both my shoulders in his hands, his haste making him rough.

  “That’s my line, Elena. This is my problem to fix.”

  I stared back at him defiantly. “I’m the one with the special powers, remember.”

  “Don’t you dare do anything stupid,” he growled
.

  I worried at my lip. I had a bad track record in that department, so I wasn’t making any promises.

  “Maybe we can work it out together,” I said. “Find a way to end this war.”

  He slowly dropped his hands, his eyes narrowing as he watched me closely. After a moment, he sat beside me on the sofa.

  “As long as you don’t get any foolish ideas about that Cassius.” He almost spat the Kallorwegian crown prince’s name.

  “He did say—” I cut off my words at his angry expression. “Perhaps there is another way. If anyone can find it, surely it’s us. No one else knows of my new powers, perhaps there’s some way to make use of them, like you were always hoping.”

  Lucas took a slow breath. “I’ve been thinking about that all summer, but I can’t think of any way for one of us to replicate it. Mages have been attempting to do so for centuries without success. There is something about the directness of your workings that allows what none of us can do.”

  My shoulders slumped. “We haven’t even begun experimenting, though. Perhaps…” I sighed. “Do you think I should tell our instructors? Lorcan?”

  Lucas was shaking his head before I had finished speaking. “No, it’s too dangerous. You might have escaped the Armed Forces, but you’re a Devoras now. General Griffith still has a hold over you.”

  “Do you still think he would wish me harm?” I asked. “Or want me anywhere near the front?”

  Lucas sighed. “Honestly, it would probably be more dangerous for you without his protection. Far too many powerful people would love to make use of you already—the Kallorwegians dedicated their entire army to the cause. No. The great families cannot know how powerful you’ve become.”

  I nodded, secretly relieved. I wasn’t ready to tell Lucas my certainty that the Stantorn family were traitors to the kingdom—not without proof. It simplified things that I didn’t have to make an excuse for why I didn’t want them to know about my new ability.

  But I did need to find some way to train. Some way to understand my new power and its limitations. I had been handed a gift and a powerful weapon, and our kingdom might need it.